Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Baby Dreams

I keep having these crazy baby dreams. It all started a few years ago when I first moved out of my parents' house. So I was only about 24 years old. But I kept having these dreams where I had a kid. And the mom was nowhere to be found, nor did I really seem to care or want to know who it was. I was happy being a single dad. And I would always wake up sad that it wasn't true. I remember one dream specifically during this time where I was at my cousin Dana's wedding. My Aunt Mary comes in through the main doors in the middle of the ceremony holding a baby in her hands and I go running up to her. She tells me that some girl dropped off the baby and said it was mine and that they couldn't handle the pressure anymore and left.

Recently (about two nights ago) I had another dream. I was living in a dorm room of some type and a demon was haunting it. I was planning on moving b/c really, who wants to live with a demon. And so I guess the demon got wind of my plans and decided to write on my walls in blood, "You're not going anywhere. If you try to leave, I will drop a heavy statue from the sky and crush your car and kill you." Yeah a little long-winded to write in blood on someone's wall. I guess he didn't know how to condense his words. And also the demon is very specific about dropping a statue on me. So anyway, I was like, "Ok cool. Guess I'm not moving." So then later I was walking in to church (ew I just noticed being at church in this dream as well as the old one) and I was at the sidewalk and caught up with my mom who was holding hands and walking with a 3 or 4 year old boy. I was telling her about the demon and I guess it scared the boy. So my mom asked him if he wanted her to hold him. He said, "No I want daddy to hold me." And he came over to me and I picked him up. He put his head on my shoulder and was holding on to me. I remember looking at him real close and he had blonde hair and long eyelashes. And I thought to myself, "Wow my kid is really cute. This is awesome." And I told my mom that he should stay with her now until I get the whole demon thing situated. But yeah, then I woke up with this sad feeling that I didn't have a kid and I wanted one! Why do I have these urges to be a single father?! I know I want to have a kid, but I don't want anyone else involved. Just me. I want to make all the decisions for the kid by myself without anyone else getting their say. Is that weird or what?