Recently (about two nights ago) I had another dream. I was living in a dorm room of some type and a demon was haunting it. I was planning on moving b/c really, who wants to live with a demon. And so I guess the demon got wind of my plans and decided to write on my walls in blood, "You're not going anywhere. If you try to leave, I will drop a heavy statue from the sky and crush your car and kill you." Yeah a little long-winded to write in blood on someone's wall. I guess he didn't know how to condense his words. And also the demon is very specific about dropping a statue on me. So anyway, I was like, "Ok cool. Guess I'm not moving." So then later I was walking in to church (ew I just noticed being at church in this dream as well as the old one) and I was at the sidewalk and caught up with my mom who was holding hands and walking with a 3 or 4 year old boy. I was telling her about the demon and I guess it scared the boy. So my mom asked him if he wanted her to hold him. He said, "No I want daddy to hold me." And he came over to me and I picked him up. He put his head on my shoulder and was holding on to me. I remember looking at him real close and he had blonde hair and long eyelashes. And I thought to myself, "Wow my kid is really cute. This is awesome." And I told my mom that he should stay with her now until I get the whole demon thing situated. But yeah, then I woke up with this sad feeling that I didn't have a kid and I wanted one! Why do I have these urges to be a single father?! I know I want to have a kid, but I don't want anyone else involved. Just me. I want to make all the decisions for the kid by myself without anyone else getting their say. Is that weird or what?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Baby Dreams
I keep having these crazy baby dreams. It all started a few years ago when I first moved out of my parents' house. So I was only about 24 years old. But I kept having these dreams where I had a kid. And the mom was nowhere to be found, nor did I really seem to care or want to know who it was. I was happy being a single dad. And I would always wake up sad that it wasn't true. I remember one dream specifically during this time where I was at my cousin Dana's wedding. My Aunt Mary comes in through the main doors in the middle of the ceremony holding a baby in her hands and I go running up to her. She tells me that some girl dropped off the baby and said it was mine and that they couldn't handle the pressure anymore and left.
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5 comments:
ok its weird and i think it has a lot to do with the fact that you want to be the boss of u, and u want these things that require a relationship but u dont want to get involved because you dont want anyone taking over u...am i making sense??
haha you're exactly right. I do need to be in control of everything. For instance, I look awful in your default picture on here! Change that shit!
i know what you mean.. I've been having these dreams sometimes too. i only want to be a single mom.
Speaking as a single dad, it's great! I raised my son from age seven until . . .well, he's 29 now. Mother was alcoholic and split. Nurturing and learning is great. Admit it, you want that but haven't found the right partner. Maybe your inner demon is fighting that. Or I could be wrong
its not super weird its not really common but not super weird. I think if you really want a kid be a foster parent the if you still want a kid adpopt. There are so many unadopted kids. I have a friend who was adopted and she remembers that she was in a orphange for a long time because no one was adopitng and there wasn't enought foster parents.
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