Drunkard

I don't get drunk often. But I feel like when I do, I'm always around people I usually only see very little. Like my family on my dad's side I never see. But usually when I do, it's a party and I'm drinking. And then I sit here and wonder if they think I'm just this huge drunkard b/c every time they see me, I'm retarded drunk. My cousin Jakki's wedding I got to see them, and it had been a while. I got so messed up and then the next morning, I threw up in the restaurant where we had a breakfast buffet. Yes, threw up IN the restaurant. Meaning I went to look for the bathroom and couldn't make it so I quick turned in to the waiter's bus stand and puked on myself. I had to go to the car and put on my clothes from the day before. And then walk back in to see my family all staring at me.

Then I start thinking about it and I remembered Michelle's 4th of July bbq with her cousins who I hadn't seen since I was a kid. Well I was drinking, not that much mind you. But I totally was being obnoxious and loud, which I never am. And I mixed up Bridgette and Erin's name. And it was so embarrassing and the only explanation was that I was drinking. And it was also in front of Michelle's mom and Nana. I could've just buried myself under the ground in embarrassment!

And then the worst of it: This summer at the beach! In front of all my aunts and my uncles and cousins. And their kids! At least this time I didn't mess up anyone's names or throw up on myself. I was close though. But that walk back to the beach house in the morning was the worst. Walking in that room and just knowing that everyone knew what happened last night was the worst. These people probably think I have a problem. Every time I'm around them I act like a homeless drunk person!

Well I'm writing this blog to say I'm not! I swear! I never drink! I promise! Do people really think this about me or is it just me being paranoid!?