I walked in to this bar, after driving for over an hour to the shore, and immediately went to the bathroom. When I'm nervous before shows, I am like a drunk that broke the seal. I keep having to go. The bar was pretty packed and it was a nice size. The bartenders were wearing head sets and they were being projected through a sound system. I come to find out it's trivia night. Panic then sets in. Another thing to compete with for attention. I am walking around looking for the booker and wondering how this whole thing is going to work out. Turns out, as I'm exploring, I find a 2nd room with another bar in it. I see a stage with a sound system in there on it's own and feel a little better. This room is pretty crowded and more quiet. I talk to the booker and she says that the people here pay $5 to watch the comedy show. The lights get turned down, the TVs get turned off and everyone is here to see the show. Ok, this might actually work out. I look around and realize that this room is basically the 2nd half of a take out store. Imagine walking in to a take out store and going to the back and watching a comedy show. That's what this was.
I'm not knocking this place or this gig. I had as much fun as I could get out of it. I'm used to these kinds of shows and this was a better one that I'm used to. But it hit me like a mack truck when I realized that after 8 years, I'm still doing gigs in the back of a take out store for no pay in front of people who don't even want to hear your jokes. When I first started, I was getting gigs every Fri and Sat. Every weekend! Now I'm lucky if I get a gig at a sports bar at the shore on a Wed. I can't even get booked at the club that I started out in 8 years ago!
Back to tonight, the booker was the MC and she had me go on first. Tough spot! But after seeing the whole show, I realized any spot was a tough spot. I've learned over the years that just because there are people in the audience, you're not guaranteed laughs. I've had shows in front of 5 people that were awesome because the audience engaged and laughed and had a good time. Then I remember the couple theater gigs I got in front of hundreds of people that politely sat there in silence wondering who I was and why I was there.
I didn't bother doing any brand new material. Too risky. I stuck with the stuff that is new to me but that I've done a couple times and it has worked for me. There were maybe 3 or 4 people in the front that laughed and had a good time, but the rest of the 20-30 people in the bar were texting on their phones, talking to each other, or just flat out staring in to space. It's sad when I think that this show wasn't my worst. It was more of an average show for me. I think my average needs to start getting a little higher.
On my ride home, I listened to the WTF podcast with Mark Maron. This guy has been doing stand up for years, even when I was in diapers. And now he is finally getting the recognition he deserves. I do love hearing about comics and their rise to fame. I always try to compare them to myself and what I'm going through. Sometimes I get bitter when I hear comedians who are making enough money, and headlining clubs, and touring the country, and they have this as their only source of income and living comfortably, and then they complain about not being successful enough. In my eyes, that is success! I'm not asking to be Chris Rock (who was the guest on WTF) or Jerry Seinfeld. I would be perfectly happy doing clubs around the country as my source of income and be comfortable. I'm not looking for fame or fortune. I just want to be happy doing something that makes me happy. Is that too much to ask?
2 comments:
Enjoy and be happy with the success you have, Jeff. You never know what those guys, that you think are so happy "making it", are going through to get it...
Good luck at your next show.
Keep right on doing what you are doing. There are different levels of success and fame is not necessarily one of them. The ability to make people laugh is success in itself. Laughing at life gets you through most tough times.
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